What I Learned In Boating School Is. . .

This past weekend, I went on a trip. My second flight, ever, led me to the green expanse of the hills and trees of Indiana. I fell in love. I did not only like my time there, not only enjoy it, not only have a great time, I LOVED it. During this vacation I learned:

     1.) I have some relationships that really need repaired. Before the vacation, I witnessed 5 siblings. Five siblings that are living their lives stuck in their pasts. Stuck in broken childhoods and broken-ness in general. Stuck. I saw that and I disliked it, so much. But, that's exactly where I am. If I keep going how I'm going with certain people in my life, I will be stuck. Right there, where they are. I don't want that. I long for restoration. For healing. For unification. Running away from these problems is not at all helping the situation. I also got to see the siblings unite for the weekend. Have a lovely time together and forget about other things that may have happened. My part in my relationships and how they end up is significant and I have to play a part to restore them.
     2.) I am only sixteen and I long to be a kid. This past weekend, I got to run around with my cousins and be SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. Not a mother, not an adult, not even a college student, a sixteen-year-old child. I can't even begin to explain the joy that came with that. The freedom. The peace. Growing up, we were expected to act grown up and mature. People we didn't even know would praise us for how well-behaved and how wonderful of kids we were. But, the me that people saw as a kid was a little robot. Doing the right things at the right times so everyone would look at me and praise me for being "so grown up." This weekend, I didn't have responsibilities. I got to run around in forests, jump over streams, climb trees, jump into algae-filled pools, take dares, wrestle, have silent pillow fights, ride ATV's, sit and talk with my mom and cousins, enjoy my time spend with family, and be sixteen. I can't even begin to tell you the joy that came in that. The freedom to spend time with my cousins and just BE. They are wonderful and I appreciate the love and acceptance they showed me.
     3.) I fell in love with Indiana and my family that lives there. When I had to leave, there was a literal ache in my heart. As I write this, I think of the joy of the time but also, the longing to reunite with them once again. And, it hasn't even been a week. I fell in love with the green hills, beautiful forests, and winding roads of Indiana. Not only that, I fell in love with my family that lives there. From them, I received more love and acceptance from some of the people I've known my entire life and I've only met all of them TWICE. It's so incredible.
     4.) I believe my time here, in Arizona, is coming to a close. I have learned so much in my time here but, there are other places that God is calling me to. After fervent prayer, discussions with Godly women in my life, and a heart-to-heart talk with my aunt, I believe that God has shown me in Arizona what He wanted to show me all along. And He is calling me to be elsewhere. He needs me to fix my relationships at home, spend time being 16 years old, and grow closer to Him in another place.

Maybe, all along, God wanted me here for me, and not for Aunt Deborah, Aedan, Martha, and Adam. Yes, there are seeds planted here. Yes, healing is here. Yes, I enjoy my time here. Yes, this is my HOME away from home. Yes, I love them as my own family. But, God is using this time to grow ME. And to move ME. And to teach ME. And to love ME. Which I came into this not at all expecting any of that. Nothing for me. Just for everyone else.

More on this subject later. There's SO much to catch up on... (I have to take over watching Aedan for a while.)

(Melodie, if you read this, I hope you laughed at the title and you know what it means. ;) I see you and that character having much in common when it comes to driving school. :P You know, I'm only joking, and you're already learning to be a MUCH better driver than him.)